If we are obliterated by a Parisian bus, will someone feed our rats?

We had a great day today. Marcy and I went to a farmers market in the morning. Then we took the kids to a carnival by the Louvre. Then we went to the Pompidou museum (awesome), And spent the evening listening to a clapton-esque street performer.

Nice, right? But not exactly spine tingling. I asked the kids what their favorite activity had been so far. They both said “the bike tours!” Least favorite was daddy’s exercise routines (i agree).

So I said let’s have an adventure! lets Rent bikes (theyre everywhere) and ride them back to the apartment. This trip is supposed to be about getting out of our comfort zone occassionally, right? Done.

So as we hopped on the bikes Marcy asked “lead or follow?” I offered to bring up the rear, cause im a wimp.

Un moi mal decisione (french).

Within one minute we realized riding with a group of 20 yellow smock wearing companions led by an experienced Parisian guide was very different than four greenhorns from Texas trying to figure out which way to turn. Luckily we didn’t have those pesky safety helmets to get in our way.

And from the rear, i got to watch my three loved ones come closer to death than they ever imagined. Apparently Paris Bus and taxidrivers hate 1) bikers 2) americans 3) kids 4) american kid bikers wearing berets.

I swear I watched Ellies left pigtail get clipped by the side mirror of bus 101 hell bent for the louvre. And Chris will never know that the 12 second horn blast from the taxi driver behind us was meant for him because he had the audacity to ride more than 6 inches from the illegally parked cars in the bus lane. He’ll also Never know he was almost clipped by a driver getting out of a parked car less than one second after his back tire cleared it. I know this because I had to Tony Hawk it just to avoid being splattered. And I got a french middle finger for my efforts.

Thank God for Marcy. After 10 minutes of that craziness, she navigated us through beautiful parks and sidestreets the final 20 minutes home. whew!

So yes, will do this again and yes we learned our lesson: next time, dad rides in front!

PS. If we do die over here, please donate the rats to science.